Saturday, December 13, 2008

No more "Debbie-downer"...

Dear friends....

I realize that my last post reflected quite an attitude of "Debbie-downer." In the beginning, I committed to my readers and to myself that I would be honest and forth right in my feelings. I knew every post wouldn't be funny and light-hearted as life isn't always that way. Pregnancy truly has been a process for me towards growth, maturity, development, reliance, and patience. Many steps forward, yet many steps backwards.

In the last minute preparations for Peanut, I have forgotten to sit back and be thankful for where the Lord has brought us thus far. I am so "geared up" and "keyed up" with the "here and now" and the "near future" that I have missed this time for reflection and thanksgiving. God has truly been very gracious to Nate and I in providing us beautiful (unborn) child -- and lately, I have been very ungrateful! Today was a day that I was able to relax and spend time with Him and seek truth in the midst of all the lies I am currently believing. I wanted to blog about some of the encouragement I found in Him today.

(A little background) Nate and I have been studying Galatians together over the past 6 months, and today's study focused on the birth of Issac and Ishmael. (Gen 17:1-5) Sarah and Abraham lacked faith that God would truly provide the son that He has promised years before. Sarah decided to take matters into her own hands and suggest Abraham bear a child with Hagar -- eventually leading to the birth of Ishmael. Ishmael's conception and birth symbolizes (to me) the problems with taking things in your own hands and not waiting for God's promises to be fulfilled. At God's appointed time, He allowed Sarah to bear Abraham a child, Issac, which was THE child God promised many times in the previous years. Through Issac, the nations would be blessed. Issac was conceived and birthed through a PROMISE and at God's perfect time and thus resulted in a blessing.

I was deeply convicted that I have been trying to get Peanut to come out in my time and not relying on God to reveal His time and allow for her birth. I continue to aimlessly try to find the "eject" button -- I am missing my lesson on faith as Sarah missed hers.

Ps 118:24 -- "This is the day that the Lord has made, be glad and rejoice in it." I must remember this verse daily and be thankful for each day, each pain, each contraction, each kick, each hiccup, each hour spent with Peanut, whether it is inside or outside the womb.

Gen 49:25 -- "From the God of your father who helps you, and by the Almighty who blesses you, with blessings of heaven above, belssings of the deep that lies beneath, and blessings of the breasts and the womb." He is continuing to bless my womb and will provide all that little Peanut needs. I must trust in Him and His provision.

Is 40:11 -- "He will feed His flock like a shepherd. He will gather the lambs in His arm. He will carry them in His bosom and will gently lead those that have their young." He is in control of this labor and delivery. He will lead Peanut out in His "appointed" time and in His "appointed" way.

As I approach these last few week(s), I must obey Phil 4:8 -- "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things." I have to cast out the fears and lies with TRUTH so that I am prepared to face what lies ahead for all of us....

I hope you have been encouraged by these verses and I have been.... From this day, I commit my attitude to the Lord and pray that He will look upon us with favor and blessing as we have this child.

Allyson and Peanut


Katie! said...

In my humble and unsolicited opinion, you have nothing to apologize or make excuses for. Feeling the way you do is perfectly normal! Of course you want your little one out! Of course you want to reclaim your body! Of course you are feeling a combination of frustration at still being pregnant and anxiety about the birth! Of course! Who wouldn't?!

Worry and complain and fret all you want. You have earned the right to be grumpy after creating a whole human inside you! Having very recently been in your position, I would recommend resting as much as possible and, if you haven't already, reading about the actual birth process. This was a part that I skipped over in my preparation and felt very vulnerable when I got to that moment and didn't know what to do. Specifically, read about HOW and WHERE to push. (I can point you in the right direction if you need it!)

More than anything, enjoy your hubby now. The first few weeks of Sophia's life will be hard on both of you, so keep each other close and find ways to keep yourselves busy. (Not to be crude, but you will have that pelvic rest for 6 weeks after she's born! That's a way to keep each other warm anyway! ;) )

Thinking of you lots and sending warm, happy thoughts your way!

Whitney and Jake said...

I think all of that is just perfect, Allyson! As you wait simply cling to the fact that there are blessings while the babe is both in and out of the womb. You may find yourself wishing little Sophia could go back inside in the next few weeks when you are dying for a nap!!! ;-) Praying for you, Nate, and your precious Christmas gift! ~Whitney